Worry less. Live in the moment more. Living with small children has been one of my greatest adventures. They’ve taught me so much in the few short months I’ve been here. This moment at the zoo yesterday brought it all home for me. James was absolutely in awe of this Harbor Seal. For just a moment everything in his world stopped and all that mattered was seeing this seal up close. Kids’ censors are much less guarded than ours are as adults. This creates such incredible moments of authenticity and awe. It’s beautiful to witness.
As I’ve learned more about the world and myself I’ve had many moments of joy, but far too few moments of absolute appreciation. The kind of appreciation James had for this blubbery sea beast. Even when I try to remind myself to slow down and count my blessings, I’m constantly bombarded with the stresses I’ve introduced into my life. I’m a planner and therefore very forward thinking. Instead of enjoying a few moments to myself throughout the day, I spend my extra time stressing about how to make my next student loan payment, or how to afford grad school if I am so lucky as to receive an acceptance letter. Ironically, I’ve started stressing about how to find ways to reduce my levels of stress. What a joke, right?
A few months ago, one of my very best friends, a nutritionist by trade, asked if I might be interested in starting a new fitness journey with her and her husband. I figured, why the hell not? If I can’t control other aspects of my life why not try to control my health? I didn’t grow up in the healthiest family. It’s not my parents’ fault, or even my grandparents’, it’s just quite clear that many generations of my family were focused on things other than physical activity. And they all loved food. Especially dessert. I learned very little about eating a balanced diet and I learned next to nothing about strength training. I’m also convinced that my hatred for running is a gene that runs deep. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family to pieces, however, I figure I’m such a black sheep in other respects why not add to that list? I should also point out that this is not necessarily true of every member of my family and I think it’s totally cool and acceptable that they have priorities other than fitness and peak health. This doesn’t make any single one of them less admirable in my eyes. That being said, I’ve decided to make my own path. So with a lot of anxiety and a few reservations, I jumped on board. And who knew this adventure would take me so many places in such a short amount of time?
I’ve lost a serious amount of weight since I started my new program. This is all well and good but I look at this as the least significant gift I’ve been given. I’ve learned so much about myself and my body, I’ve joined an incredible new community of life changers and supporters, and I’ve learned to love myself in a whole new way, big or small. Beyond that, I’m on the verge of great financial support. Seeing the patterns of those above me, I could soon reach a place where a college loan payment is nothing to stress about. What an amazing relief!
James and his younger siblings are at such important places in their lives. They are learning to read, learning to talk, learning to use their manners and their words before their fists. They are able to enjoy the simplest moments in life with absolute focus on nothing other than that single thing they are witnessing or experiencing. It’s incredibly inspiring. I am at a very important place in my life. I am learning to gracefully settle into adulthood, learning to budget, learning to take care of myself and show love to others even if they don’t care to do the same to me. I am trying to enjoy the simplest moments in life and working on shutting out the stressors that won’t allow me to do so full heartedly. I am so grateful for this company and for this community that is giving me the tools to do that. Cheers to another year of learning and growing. And a huge thank you to three of my greatest teachers, James, Eleanor, and Judah.